Cassiterite

Before Labradorite came, I was just another wolf in the pack. Sure, my black coat marked me as the son of our leaders, but I had older siblings who filled that role much better. There's Onyx, who's the oldest of the five of us. He's a hunter, too, but he's done other things. Like mentor pups. He helps out wherever he's needed, and, as her oldest, Mom doted on him. Then there's Melanite, the expert huntress. She takes down all our prey and gets all the glory in the hunt, but she's so humble about it it's impossible to hate her. She's honestly the favorite of my siblings. She always checks in to make sure I'm doing okay. Then there are the twins: Hornblende and Charcoal. They were born together in my mom's litter before me, like inseparable shadows. From the moment they were born, they got all the special treatment and training to be in a hunting party together. Mom actually had the time to prepare them to be a functioning member of the pack. Now, they're always competing with each other and with the rest of us. It makes us a successful hunting team, because they're competition lends itself well to taking down prey, but it can get annoying at times. Charcoal's always bragging about how fast she is and Hornblende is always telling us how many different scents he can pick up.

And then there's me. The youngest. The one born when Mom was getting older and could hardly organize our pack to get enough food, let alone train a pup. I was left alone in the den a lot, and only just joined a hunting team as an adult, even though my siblings had all been hunting since they were adolescents. Still, I've never minded being a fifth wheel enough to try to change anything. I've been comfortable in my low ranking position. That is, I was until Labradorite showed up.

He's everything I'm not-confident, experienced, outgoing. Where I'm shy and quiet, he's loud and friendly. I didn't expect him to take any notice of me, but, for some reason, he did. We started spending time together in between hunts. He confided in me, and I in him. He makes me feel seen and confident, which is something that I've never felt before. And he calls me Cass, which I love. He wants me to be his mate and his beta, to lead the pack. I don't think I'm cut out to be a leader, but. . .I trust Labradorite. I love him, and I love my pack. I just want to help them both. I never though leading my pack would be the way I did that, but, if it, I'll do my best.

Some time later. . .

Today, Dor (he let's me call him by a nickname!) asked me to go on a patrol with him. Just me! I've never been singled out like that before-it made me feel so happy. He took me high into the mountains where we jumped in snow and chased after deer. It was amazing. He literally glowed under the moonlight, and the dusting of snow made him even more handsome. But beyond his good looks, he actually seems to value what I say. He listens to me and asks for my input. Again, that's not something I get very often. It's nice to feel valued, and my mate gives me that.

later
Rust is dead. I miss her. She helped raise me when my mom couldn't, and she was my oldest brother's mate. She raised so many of the wolves in this pack. She will be missed. Dor doesn't seem quite as grief stricken as some of our other packmates though. I almost thought I saw a hint of triumph in his eyes when he heard the news. I must have been mistaken, though. I know him. He loves me, and he loves his pack. Why would he be happy when one of us died, even if it was someone he hadn't gotten along with. Maybe he just doesn't understand what the others are going through-he did join this pack after his puphood, after all. I'll try talking to him tonight. See if I can help him understand what we're going through. That should not be the main focus of tonight, though. I need to take care of my grieving packmates. It hurts my soul to see them upset. I know I can't make the pain go away, but I can at least give them a shoulder to cry on.

The next day
Dor surprised me by bringing home another pup! A male we named Scorzalite. I'm so excited to have another pup to raise! He's a bit more outgoing and confident than Rutile, and so precise. He always tries to get everything exactly right. I want to tell him that he doesn't need to be perfect; Dor and I will love him anyways. But he's still a little closed off from us. I'm sure he'll get there, though.

Speaking of pups, Rutile has officially joined a hunting pack! I'm so excited for him. He was so anxious before his first hunt, especially being a finisher (definitely a high pressure job), but he did so well! I knew he would. I mean, he trained under Melanite and she's fantastic. He always seems so upset when he misses a catch. Which doesn't happen all that often. He's only done twelve hunts and he's captured his prey eight times. That's a 66% catch rate. Which is even better than Essexite, our most experienced finisher. I wish he would be a little more forgiving of himself.

As much as I love having a new pup in the pack, I can see what Dor's trying to do. He wants to distract me after Rust's death. Maybe because he's worried I can't handle it? (I can. I may not enjoy death, but I know what it's like. Both my parents died when I was young). Or is he uncomfortable with how much I'm paying attention to him? I'm just not sure. . .

Two months later
Onyx is dead. I knew this was coming, but I didn't expect it to be so soon after Rust. He was my brother. I don't know what life is like without him. He was always supposed to be right by my side, chasing after prey with me. But now he's not. His pups are curled up in a group together. My remaining siblings are cuddling in a different pile. I could go join them but. . .I don't really feel welcome, anymore. I feel like they're keeping something from me. I know I'm naïve, but I'm not an idiot. I've seen the way they've been looking at Dor lately. I bet they think he has something to do with Rust's and/or Onyx's deaths. I. . .don't know what to think. I wish they would just talk to me. But Dor is so good to me. He noticed that I was alone and he came over to comfort me. He didn't talk to me. I didn't need him to. I just needed someone to be there for me. He was there. And no one else was.

Gender: male
Sexuality: gay
Mate: Labradorite
Adopted Children: Rutile, Scorzalite
Siblings: Onyx (deceased), Melanite, Hornblende, Charcoal
Parents: Coal and Scoria