Himle✒️

"They're supposed to sound scary, that's how you get people to respect someone by just hearing their name!" Lusse was defending his past choice of names.

"Alright, alright," Tola sighed, "but given the.. circumstances, maybe we should give him a... less threatening name? One that could inspire him to be kind?"

And that's how Himlaklar got his name, and as he grew, he hated it. His older brother and sister got the perfect names, Ygg and Agi. Powerful names are short and concise, in this case they meant horrendous and fearsome. Himlaklar is too long and with a weak meaning, clear sky. He decided to growl at anyone who called him by his full name, Himla was better, with its double meaning and all. Not perfect, but better.

-

Himla was playing with a skull he found in the woods, biting at it and throwing it in the air, as a pup should! He was on his back holding the skull over him and snapping at it, when suddenly the skull was kicked out of his paws. He rolled over quickly to stand up and growl, but he stopped when he was faced with Kallas bigger, dark brown frame. His ears pulled back slightly as if he had met a grizzly bear.

"Do you have to be so creepy, Imla?" Kalla judged as she looked at the wolf skull on the ground and stuck her tongue out, "that's so inappropriate."

"You're inappropriate," was appearently his best comeback, damn it, he was always tongue tied around Kalla, he stood up and started walking away "leave me alone, little warden."

"Maybe that skull," Kalla followed him with perky steps, pestering him, "is the old alpha Tyrs skull? Where did you find it, in the outskirts of the territory? Oh man, Pappa will be so mad if he hears about you defacing our ancestors graves!"

And there it was, the usual threat of telling their father. Himla stopped and looked at his sisters dark brown eyes.

"What do you want, annoying puppy?"

Kalla smiled brightly, his insults never seemed to touch her and it bothered him. She gestured for him to follow, and just for the hell of it he decided to put the skull on his face as a mask before leaving. Kalla made a disgusted face at him and shook her head before continuing walking.

-
"I don't understand why you must have that mask on," Hel was judging him, "you're a beautiful boy, why don't you take it off?"
"You're not my mother," Himle growled at her and she looked quite sad, almost a little frightened, and Himle felt proud of himself. He walked away and smirked. He had heard stories from other pups of Hel, his aunt, being a scary wolf. But she cowers at the mere growl of an adolescent? Or maybe Himle is just that threatening. He liked the thought of that.
-
Lusse died shortly after Himle became an adult. The alpha was at the burial ceremony, saying kind words about him. Himle watched from a distance. He didn't like this, he didn't like being around these sad, pathetic wolves. The alpha was coddling Himles younger siblings, and Himle felt disgusted. He left the ceremony early, but he came back during the evening. The moon was shining onto the burial stone as Himle approached it. He sat down for a second, then he reluctantly removed his skull mask and dropped it on the ground. He looked at the stone with his fathers name on it, and tears started stinging in his eyes.
Not long after, Hel died as well, and Himle was filled with regret for how he had treated her. She had always been there for him and he hadn't been grateful enough. His mother was saddened by these losses, and her behavior appalled him, but she was the only one left who loved him, and so he decided to be kind to her.
-
He really liked her, he liked being around her, but lately she had started asking these strange questions, and they made him annoyed, so he tried to scare her a little, and when it worked he realized something. He liked it when she was scared. He could tell her heart was beating faster and she looked so nervous. But he didn't want to actually hurt her, he would never, and so he didn't let it go on for too long. When they were tumbling down a hill together after chasing eachother, he managed to dig his claws into the ground beneath her in the middle of the hill to prevent her from getting hurt. Her warm, dark eyes met his cold white ones. She was so close to him, he could see that her nose was damp. A sudden urge shook him. He wanted to kiss her.
When her heat came around once again, it felt like he could smell it from miles away. He felt like his chest was burning up and he decided to leave the territory for a bit, just until the heat was over. Himle had to come to terms with his love for her. But he knew he could never mate with her. Himle needed to find a female with a blaze, something he lacked, so that his descendants had a chance at becoming alpha one day.
-
Himle cursed to himself when he saw her. Kalla was their hunting teams new stalker, he had avoided her for months now, and karma had caught up to him. Kallas heat started once again, and the scent was driving him crazy. After the hunt, he followed her.
"Hey, good job back there," he complimented her, but she seemed cold, "is something wrong?"
She stopped walking and after a pause, she spoke.
"I haven't seen you for months," she stared at him.
"I'm so sorry, I've been busy," he lied, "I meant to come talk to you-"
"You've been avoiding me," she said frankly and turned her head away. Shit, she was angry. But she had missed him, this was a sign that she liked him, and that thought made him even weaker to her scent. He tried to catch her gaze.
"I haven't, I promise," if she liked him that much, then a confirmation of him liking her back would make her less angry, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."
She glanced at him. It must be working.
"Actually there was something I wanted to ask you," Himle got caught in the romance, he wanted to be with her and her heat wasn't helping his desires. He circled her and got close to her, sniffing her neck carefully and then going down towards her tail. Suddenly she turned around snarled at him! Himle was confused and offended, but he stayed calm.
"It's okay," he reassured her gently, without knowing what was really wrong.
"It's not okay," she stood tall and stared him down, his heart beat faster, excited about the chase, but she shut his fantasies down quick, "I don't want you anymore."
Himle went quiet for a bit, swallowing his anger and hurt in order to remain calm.
"You don't mean that," he looked at her softly, "you've missed me, and I missed you too."
His charms didn't work this time, and Kalla willingly pushed his buttons.
-
Fuck, his chances with her were totally blown now. If he had just caught her in the forest, he would've at least gotten what he wanted even if it would make her hate him. Or maybe it wouldn't, maybe he could've persuaded her there and then and kept her to himself. Himle growled at his thoughts. It was no use now. She was hiding in a cave and was guarded by Himles older siblings, as well as by the new Alpha, the very wolf who ruined his chances with her that night.
"Mmh, what's that sound?" The smaller wolf next to him yawned. Shit, his growling must've woken her up. Himle pulled her closer.
"I didn't hear anything, sweetheart. Were you having a bad dream?" He licked her forehead and she nuzzled her face into his neck and sighed, dozing off again. Himle sighed. At least he still had his other females to play with. They were younger and easier to deal with than Kalla anyway.
-
Himle had a plan. Ygg, the head of Skades cave, was dying soon, and the only one left to rule would be him. He would become a part of the council, able to influence the young alpha Borgs decisions, and he could mold Skades descendants to his liking. But something was threatening his ascension. One of Himles females mentioned something that nagged at his mind, and when investigating further, it seemed that Ygg had fathered some pups, at his old age! This meant not only that Ygg would try to stick around for as long as possible, it also meant that Yggs line wasn't dying out with him. This was a threat to Himles line. A new plan formed in his mind: Lure away Yggs pups. Pups get lost all the time, it would be no surprise if his did too. Ygg spent most of his time resting, trying to elongate his lifespan by being lazy, so it would be easy. Himle started with the female, his biggest threat, since females like to pop out pups like rabbits, it would be less of a threat if the male stayed in the pack since he most likely wouldn't find a mate.
But things didn't go as planned. Ygg found Himle in the forest with the pup.
"What are you doing with her?" Ygg asked while heaving badly, obviously out of breath due to his age.
"She wanted to go see the old birch tree, I'm looking after her, no worries," Himle lied. Ygg looked concerned.
"Well, she's a bit young to go that far from home. Come, Skugga, let's go home," Yggs words made the little puppy hop over to him and wag her tail. Ygg turned his back to Himle and started walking. This was no good. If Skugga disappears again, they would suspect Himle immedietly. New plan, Ygg had to die. Himle thought it would be easier to kill such an old man, but he persisted. It was quite amusing seeing the old man stumble away, trying to protect his puppy while bleeding and coughing. Suddenly, Himle felt the scent of another wolf, and immedietly darted off. Surely, Ygg would die of his injuries at this point anyway. Himle shadowed them through the forest, he didn't see who it was, carrying the half dead Ygg on his back. But when the wolf stopped walking and howled for help, Himle had to come up with another plan, and honestly it was getting quite annoying. He snuck closer. The wolf was standing dangerously near a cliff. Perfect. In a matter of seconds, the wolf had been thrown down the cliff and Himle was about to deal the killing blow to Ygg, shutting him up forever and securing Himles place as the head of Skades cave. But someone got in the way, and Himles patience ran out, he attacked the annoyance, and when he noticed wolves gathering around, seeing him in this fight and seeing the almost-dead Ygg, that was when Himle noticed that the wolf he was fighting was none other than the alpha. Himles rage took over. There were no more plans that could save this situation, and all he wanted was bloodshed. He blacked out.
-
Himle woke up to a dull pain in his jaw. It was broken, and he had a hard time keeping his tongue inside his mouth. Not only that, but his wolf skull mask was gone, probably somewhere down the stream, crushed to pieces. Himle tried to shake the water out of his fur, but his body hurt too much. He limped into the forest and found an old abandoned cave, one that had been used by the worthless freeloaders the old alpha Gerd had hosted. The cave was full of bones and skulls, what once was scraps for them to gnaw on. Himle found an old rag and wrapped it around his head, it helped him feel less exposed without his mask.
-
"I care about you," she said, and he looked at her tenderly. Normal wolves might feel warm and cozy when hearing those words, but to Himle, they triggered the same feeling as when you're watching a rabbit from the bushes, and you see it look away and start eating.
"I care about you, too, love," he responded. The female looked at him with her brown eyes and they reminded him of Kalla. She was a good substitute. Himle heard someone call for him from outside the cave and got up to leave, but not before giving her a kiss.
Outside the cave was Håkan, a lost pup that Himle gracefully took in.
"I heard something interesting that you might want to know," Håkan hurried and seemed excited, so Himle nodded, "I heard that Björn has sympathy for you."
Björn? But Björnstjärna had been dead for months now.. "Who?"
"Björnbär, sir."
Himle liked these foreign terms that foreign wolves brought with them to his gatherings. The wolves had called him "sir" and "mister". It was a long way from alpha, but it was something.
"Remind me who Björnbär is," he demanded.
"That's the good part, she's the herbalists apprentice!" Oh, that was good news indeed.
"Good job, min son," Himle smiled and patted Håkan on the head.
-
She smelled like berries, flowers and herbs. Himle breathed in her sweet scent while she examined his injury. He didn't actually need help with it, but it was a good reason to have her come over. She stopped and told him things he already knew, he had an irreversible broken jaw and scars. He looked up at her with puppy eyes.
"Will the pain go away?" He asked, even though he had no pain anymore. The herbalist apprentice looked at him with empathy.
"Some broken bones and scars hurt forever.." she sounded sad for him, "but there are herbs to help with that."
"Would it be okay to.." he paused and looked away, "to ask you to bring me some?"
"Of course," she nodded. And just like that, she was on his hook. He learned her name, but forgot it, and she started bringing him medicine weekly. While she was there, he could ask her to take a look at some of the other wolves, what he would like to call members of his pack. He asked her not to tell anyone they lived here, in case they were ashamed, but really he didn't want her to tattle to the alpha.
-
"As promised," Himle told Håkan, his now-adult adoptive pup. They were sitting outside by a tree, watching Himles own pups, his flesh and blood, on their first time outside of the cave, "Do you believe me now?"
Håkan nodded silently.
"I would tell you to choose which one you like most, but I can't garantee you any of them will survive to adulthood. When they're older I will allow you to spend time together."
Himles plan was going smoothly. He had found Håkan as a lonely adolescent, and Håkan had a brilliant blaze, something Himle and his pups lacked. The plan was to have Håkan be the father of Himles grandchildren, and so this information had been carefully planted in Håkans mind ever since he was young, now he was on Himles hook, this is where his future lies and nowhere else. One of the pups had white eyes, and Himle wanted that one to further his genes, but unfortunately she died. Himle found her little body outside the camp, most likely one of Himles visitors did it. It was the pups own fault for being reckless. Himle didn't realize it himself, but he started keeping a closer eye on the yellow eyed pup. It would be a shame if Håkan was left without a mate.
-
"What the fuck," he exclaimed as he rushed to save his daughter from falling off a ledge onto some sharp rocks. How could she be so dumb? She got into more and more ridicolousness, and every time, Himle was there to take care of her. Soon, his heart beat for her.
-
Himle struggled in his own mind. His thoughts were jumbled. This pup, she was supposed to be just a female for Håkan to produce Himles heirs with. But every time he looked into her fiery eyes, he became more enraptured with her.
"My mate will have more pups, I can promise you one of those," Himle tried to not sound too angry as he tried to compromise with Håkan, who growled and turned away. Himle knew his adoptive son, this was a sign of obedience from him. But Himle had trained him well and sent him to a good position in his enemy pack. Himle had trained him too well, relishing in his aggressiveness. He did not want that turned against him. And as his daughter grew, she showed the same tendencies for fighting and hot-headedness, and Himle was proud. But he was scared. He had promised her away to Håkan, using her as a pawn. His thoughts fought eachother on his inside, and on the outside he seemed cold and calculating most of the time, but he was prone to aggressive outbursts when someone pushed too many thoughts into his head. His mate, Myr, had started cowering to him. At first he enjoyed it, but the more he came to care for his daughter and wanting to keep her away from being hurt by Håkan, the more he started sympathizing with Myr. Her eyes glimmered with the same warmth as their daughters. But Himle could not change his ways. Everything was wrong. Everything he had ever done was wrong. He lost his family and the love of his life, he had done unspeakable things and manipulated others to his own will. Maybe he could have changed, but instead he fled from his troubled mind. He made plans and he continued hosting parties where he started joining in more. With fermented fruit in his system, his troubles seemed less troubling.
-
Himle had sent a spy to give him an update on the Skade family. That's where he believed his old mate, Myr, to have gone. But Himles spy had been chosen poorly.
"No, she wasn't there, sir. But I must say, that family is absolutely gorgeous!"
"What do you mean? My siblings were just as avarage as me," Himle rumbled.
"That's true, but you have new nephews and nieces and woof they're really beautiful! Especially the youngest one, I've never seen such a cutie," the spy was cut off in his rambles, by himles claws drawing blood from his cheek. The wolf gasped and ran off. Skades cursed lineage, filled with beauty? Himle touched his face, feeling the scar that hid his ugly appearence, and he was filled with jealousy.
-
Himle was about to attack his own beloved daughter, no, he changed his mind. If he could grab his beloved granddaughter she could be used as leverage. I'll kill the pup if you don't stop this foolishness, yes something like that. But when he looked up from the pup, he noticed Håkan stepping up behind Lög. Lög and Håkan together were much stronger than him. He looked around at what little that was left of his pack. They didn't seem interested in helping him. If he started a fight now, if he hurt Lög or the pup, Himle knew that Lög or Håkan would surely kill him with no remorse. He turned around and ran, settling in the forest to rest. But then he heard steps and he could smell they came from his daughter. He ran and ran, all the way to the mountains of the tundra. His legs felt heavy, and his lungs stung with every breath. He would get his revenge, yes, on all of them. On Borg, on Lög, on Håkan, on Kalla and on Ygg and on his father and on all alphas. The snow was soft and night rolled in, and Himle took his last breath, alone.