⌘ Gerd ⌘

North, west, north, around the thorny bush, turn right, follow the river, watch out for the slippery rock, turn right over the shallow part of the river, dive under the fallen tree - no time to practice jumping over it - her paws were constantly moving. She was running fast, but not too fast. If you run too fast there's more room for mistakes, and a misstake would cost her precious seconds. Past the crooked tree where she usually turns right - it leads to her favourite creek where no one can find her, but she's not going there now - follow the path straight ahead. Only a little bit left. Dive into the bushes, jump down the rocks to avoid running down the hill. There! She sped up to full speed, the ground was safe enough next to the stream. Without hesitation she jumped straight into the water, grabbed the pups leg and got him out of the water as fast as possible. The pup stood up and coughed while Gerd shook some water off of herself.

"You're lucky Tilda is quick," Gerd was only an adolescent but her little nephew still looked so small as he nodded and whispered out a thank you. Gerd nodded too. She wasn't angry. This would surely be a good lesson for both pups.

-

"I'm just.. scared that she's more like mamma than me," Gerds ears were pulled back, ashamed of not being good enough, while looking on in the distance at her younger sister, pretty much identical in appearence to their mother. Gerds older sister, Skade, listened to her woes. A long pause followed while Skade looked at Gerd, thinking.

"You know.. you shouldn't want to be like mamma, she has flaws too," Skade finally said, and Gerd looked up at her, "no one's perfect." Skade looked up at the place on the hill where their mother usually sat. "What flaws does mamma have?" Gerd asked, pressing on. "Well.. she cares too much about wolves she's not related to. She treats them just like her own blood. That can get complicated, you know. I.. I don't know," Skade looked uncomfortable, as if she had said too much, "You should talk to Gull, he knows more."

And so Gerd went to Gull, the breeding male of the pack.

"It was so long ago, I don't remember it so well but I did have a relationship with Tyr before she started this pack. After that, the pack was more important, but that's understandable and quite admirable. Caring for others isn't a flaw," the old male sat down in the sunlight, letting it illuminate his golden fur. Gerd settled down where she stood, "You never knew them, but we had two friends older than us. Tyr became involved with one of them, called Räv. Their relationship ended because Tyr didn't like being told what to do, but I honestly think it's natural for Tyr in her situation. You should really talk to your mother about this." So Gerd went to her mother.

"When I look at your older brother and sister, I see fractions of myself. Ull, he has pursued a life I could've had, he has a mate and a quiet family life. Skade.. I have always been scared that she's walking the same path as me, that she will make the same mistakes as me and end up lonely with too much responsibility. I don't want you or your little sister to be like me, I want you to be yourselves. You can make new futures, new mistakes. Do you understand?"

Gerd nodded.

-

"Gerd!" A grey male, Agnar, caught up to her, "I heard you brought home a moose bull! Fucking impressive!" 

Gerd immedietly became flustered and shy, "Oh it's nothing, it's spring and all.."

"Hey, no other team has brought home a moose bull yet this year! You did well!" He nudged her side as he sped up and walked past her. Before he left he looked back at her as if he remembered something, "I'm looking forward to tonights meal!"

Gerd was very flattered by this, because she had heard of Agnar saving the pack from starvation last year by being the only one bringing home, yes, moose bulls. For him, undoubtedly the best finisher after Björk and Majora left their positions, to praise Gerd, a total noob, was very unexpected from her side. A day or two later, Agnars hunting team came home with a huge bison carcass! Gerd was watching from behind a tree as the tired finisher helped his team drag the animal to the food keep, and then coming back and plopping down like a dead fish underneath the shade of the trees.

-

"She's started singing this weird song," Gerd had barged into her older sisters cave and interrupted something important, Skade was sitting and looking at some writing bark, she asked absent mindedly, "what song?"

"The one about living and dying in northland.." Gerd sat down. Her mother hadn't heard or seen that she was near, and Gerd had caught her singing a lovely old tune, but she had sounded so.. sad. "I think she wants to go back"

Skade nodded as if she didn't listen and Gerd went on "Maybe she should get to go back before its too late," and finally Skade looked up at her little sister in disbelief

"Go back.. to northland?" Skades cold tone made Gerd scrunch her lips together. She nodded quietly. "Are you suggesting we move the whole pack to northland? It's not safe for wolves there."

"It's just a trip!"

"You don't know what you're talking about. Travelling to northland takes at least 6 moons when you travel alone, much more if you travel with a big pack. And what about the pups?"

Gerd swallowed her words, she hadn't thought about that. After some pondering, she came back to her older sister, determined.

"I'm doing this. Mammas eyes are getting bad. I'm taking her to northland," Gerd was interrupted by Skade but she continued, "I have already decided. It will just be me and mamma. I'm leaving the pack in your hands."

Gerd didn't even realize how she was sounding, even when the reaction from Skade was a silent respectful nod. Gerd went to Ull and told him to take care of Skade. And lastly.. Gerd went to Vår. She had expected a cold little sister, or jealous, or angry, but what she got was tears. Vår started crying and hugged her.

"Storasyster.. Take care of mamma and yourself, promise to come back with your skin whole."

-

Gerd didn't manage to keep that promise. When she came home she had scratches and scars.

Rain had been pouring for two days, both wolves were soaking wet. Gerd had carried Tyr for hours and was now holding her by the nape of her neck to support her walking. As soon as Gerd recognized her surroundings, she howled to let her pack know they were back.

The first one to catch up to them was Vår. Her eyes when she saw them was something Gerd had never seen before, and maybe Gerds eyes looked the same. Unexpectedly, Gerd was almost tackled by her little sister! Gerd returned the hug, and oh, it felt good. She had missed her sister, not only for all these months they had been away, but ever since that day when they stopped talking when they were younger. She didn't realize it until then. Vår let go and went to help their mother, and Gerd helped. Soon enough, Fjällskymning came to take Gerds place and she only had her own body to carry through the rain. It was a relief, but also felt empty somehow. 

The water was dripping down her muzzle, muscles aching and scratches stinging, and her heavy breath was coming out as thin fog when they reached the edge of the steep hill. She looked down at their territory. It was full of wolves, everyone in the pack was there. As soon as they noticed their alpha, they went completely silent and Gerd could see how every single eye was on Tyr, who stood up gracefully despite having been too weak to walk on her own. Suddenly, everyone in the pack bowed, and as Gerd got ready to turn toward Tyr to bow to the alpha, she saw Tyr bowing. Gerd had never seen her mother bow to anyonw before, and now she was bowing to.. Gerd looked around her and took a step back, confused, and noticed that the crowd was bowing toward her too, not the alpha, and even Vår was bowing. Gerd huffed in surprise before putting her nervous right paw down on the ground and standing tall in front of the pack.

-

"It's unfair, Mamma had both you and Skade to help her!" Gerd complained to her big brother, Ull.

"It's time for me and Skade to step down. It's a new era for the pack," Ulls voice was much different from his littermates commanding and all knowing tone, which for some reason was quietly nodding in the corner even when Gerd cast an annoyed eye at her. Skade sat up.

"Mamma was all alone leading the pack until she had us," she said calmly, "but you, lillasyster, are far from alone. You don't just have Vår by your side, you have a whole family."

It was true, Gerd had a big family. The ones she knew best was Ygg and Agi, she had pupsat those rascals when she was a yearling, and Björnstjärna, whom she unfortunately had a crush on when she was a pup and didn't know better. Sometimes Vår teased her about it. It's not her fault Björn is so handsome!

-

"Do you know anything about our family members, what strengths they have?" Gerd was tapping her claw on an empty scripture.

"It's not like Skade or Ull to abandon their little sister just when she gets promoted," Vår was doing morning stretches at the opening of the cave, "Did something happen?"

"I don't know, I guess they just want to take it easy," Gerd leaned her head on the rock in front of her and looked up at her sister, "any ideas?"

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