Fjällskymning✒️

His mother gave birth to him and then left the pack. He can't remember why, it was so long ago now. Fjällskymning knew everyone in the pack was expecting something from him, he didn't quite know what, but something. As soon as he was old enough, he joined his adoptive father Gull as a hunter, training hard to become strong! His father often made him uncomfortable, as he liked to flirt with all the females in the pack. Fjäll found it embarrasing, especially when it was wolves his age. But the females seemed to love it, which only made Fjäll more flustered.

"Pappa, why did my mamma leave, really?" They were resting outside by a fire after a hunt, and Fjäll saw his chance to ask the question as the female chaser - a female who had recently given birth to Gulls pups - went to a cave to take a nap. Gulls ears drooped a bit and he looked worried, but Fjäll was tired of trying to come up with his own stories of his mom, "Please just tell me anything about her."

"Okay, pup," Gull paused, unsure, but then he looked into Fjälls eyes and smiled, "you have the alphas firey gaze. You might as well be her son, you know."

Gull sighed. Fjäll was the alphas son, she had been much more of a mother to him than his own mother, and all the other motherless pups called her mamma, so he did too. But unlike them, this pack had actually known his mother! He knew that she grew up here! So he needed to know. It seemed that Gull was finally ready to talk about it.

"Your mother joined the pack when she was a young adult. I took care of her for a few weeks, but she was so grown up and world weary, she didn't need a pupsitter. It wasn't long before she was an adult. Everything was fine until she started wanting to.. have relations with me," Gull looked pained, and he was about to reveal a mistake he had kept from this young male for all his life, but he pressed on, "I wasn't sure about it. I still saw her as a puppy, I suppose. I was very conflicted. After a while I did grow to enjoy her company, and I started seeing her as the adult she was, as she had always been. But when I showed interest in her, she backed away from me."

Fjäll was listening intently. He could hear that there were parts of the story Gull wasn't saying outright. But he figured he didn't want to hear of his lost mothers sexual escapades with his adoptive father anyway.

"I tried my best to appease her, but one day she came home and she was pregnant, she had gone to a different male," Gull clenched his teeth and his eyes pressed together sorrowfully. He took a deep breath, "she was young, Fjäll, and she had been playing a game with me. I was young, too, and I had been joining in up until that point. I was.. heartbroken. That's around the time I started going on scouts with Räv, and I got to see your mother less. When you were born I made as much time as possible to be with you. But your mother had broken my heart and I needed to heal, do you understand? I didn't speak to her for a while.."

She was the one to break his heart and then she left because she was mad at him for having a broken heart? His mother surely had been childish. Fjäll felt confused.

"I think your mother understood how I felt about it so she stayed away too and eventually I got over her and well, I started seeing someone else. That's why your mother left the pack, son," his dark eyes turned to him with remorse, "I'm sorry, it was.. it is my fault that you don't have a mother."

Fjällskymning could recall a memory, it was late at night and he heard his mom yelling at someone, he could understand words now that he hadn't understood before; his mothers voice hissing "Ever since the moment I saw you, I was under your spell. You're my soulmate, we are meant to be." After that he heard only whispers, followed by the sound of four paws running away, and then he never heard his mother anymore, he only remembers being alone for a while, falling asleep and then waking up with Gulls soft golden fur all around him to warm him up. He understood that Gull must've told his mother the truth and she couldn't handle it. Fjäll had tears in his eyes. If his mother had chosen differently, his dad would've been Gull and she would've stayed. They would all be together.

"I'm sorry she broke your heart. She was childish," Fjäll didn't think Gull should need to apologize, but he understood why he did it and so he didn't object to the apology.

"I'm not sad that she broke my heart. If she hadn't chosen someone else, we wouldn't have you," what Gull said was true, "and I must admit, it's a bit selfish of me, but I'm happy she left you with us. I have loved you since you came to the world, son."

With that last word, Fjällskymning didn't feel so lost anymore. He truly was Gulls son, and Tyrs son, and nothing would ever change that.

-

Gull had told Fjäll something else that night. Gull had been the breeding male since long before Fjäll was born, and now he was every female in the packs dream man. But it hadn't always been that way. Gull had told his son about how he wasn't wanted by anyone in the pack until he had met Fjälls mother. And he ended the conversation by saying "lucky you were born handsome, you should hear how the females talk behind your back". Fjäll wondered what he meant by that, why did it matter that the females wanted him? He pushed his thoughts to the side and concluded that he must mean that it will be easy for him to find someone to bond with.

He realized that he was wrong when the packs best scout came home from her last scout and told him that it was his turn now. He knew then that they were indeed expecting him to become the next breeding male. He didn't quite know how to feel about it, especially since he had developed feelings for a female who had joined his hunting team just before he left..

-

Fjäll mourned a failed relationship, his ex left the pack. After a long, long time, he found love again, in a confident young female. They have their differences, she is a bit stoic and independent, but Fjäll has the imagination to come up with ways to make her satisfied! 

-

"..What?" Fjällskymning couldn't believe his ears and looked at her in disbelief.

"If you're going to go around and breed with every female ever then I can breed with everyone too!" Gryning was composed, but her words were sharp and stung Fjälls heart like thorns.

"If you're going to be like that then maybe I should! And maybe you should leave me, or maybe I should leave the pack and go die in a bog somewhere!"

"Don't be ridicolous!"

They both huffed and turned their backs toward eachother. Gryning walked away. They never came to an agreement on this topic brought by Fjäll being a breeding male, but they couldn't stay away from eachother. They still loved eachother and decided to keep doing so.

-

"You're being silly," Gryning sounded annoyed while Fjäll was kissing her belly with his pups in it. He decided to shrug her off, she had been telling him that a lot lately.

"Goodbye my loves, I'll be back soon," he smiled at her and then stood up and headed off on a scout. Fjäll was old now, very old. He had two daughters with Gryning, who he loved more than anything and spent as much time as possible with. Dag was an adult by this time, and Sol was still a puppy. Fjäll could feel that he didn't have a lot of time left, but he hid it from everyone else and tried to seem strong and healthy. He was on his way to the glacier but he took a detour to the great birch tree.

"Please let me live until my last litter is born, please let me see them before I die," he pleaded to the big birch tree that stood out among the pines. Fjäll stood there for a bit, but then he sighed. He knew the birch tree couldn't grant such wishes. He put his paw up to the tree to feel its bark, hoping it would transfer some of its strength over to him, if it could.