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Rate The Lead Wolf Above's Biography

Posted 2020-11-04 09:20:34

5/10

You could use some more sentences about like, what the pack does, or who her mate is, or something like that, and how she gets along with the other wolves!


💚Predy1🤍
#11351

Posted 2020-11-04 09:35:52

@ predy! # 11351 


thank you for the tips. it was very helpful. 




magicwhitewolf
#25645

Posted 2020-11-04 10:04:27 (edited)

4/10

Aah! I'm so sorry for being so harsh!

I'm sorry for being such a harsh criticizer- you don't have to do any of this, as they are only suggestions!

But- here are some suggestions:

Rather than explaining what a lead wolf is, and what a lead wolf does, perhaps give her a backstory?

You should make it longer! Lure the reader in, what makes your wolf interesting?

Whats your wolf's personality? You should maybe explain that when doing something like a 1st person perspective.

oops- somebody already replied, sorry!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahah, I know mine isn't the best, please give me tips on what I should fix :)

This is her.


SsunsetGalaxxy
#12740

Posted 2020-11-10 20:16:28

7/10 I liked how it was like an interview and some things confused me.


Paint_Box
#23847

Posted 2020-11-10 20:19:48

7/10 

nice bio 


could i ask the person below me rate's Koi's bio ? wolvden.com 

just hasn't had the chance to improve Magic's bio. 


magicwhitewolf
#25645

Posted 2020-11-15 07:55:46

6/10 some of the sentences were short and kind of bland. 


Paint_Box
#23847

Posted 2020-11-15 08:13:40 (edited)

7/10. Okay, sorry if I seem harsh, but I'm giving constructive criticism for the things I did and didn't like to help you improve - but obviously you don't need to apply this or even like,, think about it lol, just my opinion. ^v^
Alright. It was kind of short and seemed maybe slightly abrupt? And the way it was with a "You" perspective (idk what that's called...) but in past-tense was slightly odd.
However, I did like the descriptions, such as Honey's face and the scent of the grassland. It gives a good insight into Honey's personality. Overall, pretty good! :)

Here's my lead wolf, her bio is below the reference sheet. Constructive criticism is appreciated, and I don't mind if you're somewhat harsh, as long as you aren't rude. :)


︴▹ speedyscout 🏔️
#22155

Posted 2020-12-14 03:57:07 (edited)

9/10

Love it. It's an interesting backstory. I don't have much on a criticism - of any kind - but I do wonder if the bio's going to change as she ages? Like when she has a litter, or when she (you) has decided who'll be her heir.


Anyways, here's Scathos |:| Wolvden



≋ ПIƧΉΛ ≋
#12663

Posted 2022-08-11 23:00:45
6/10
only because for me it was difficult to follow and was confusing
but different peoples brains prosses in different ways, for me
the plot was very hard to follow, it felt like 4 stories slapped together
with nothing connecting the story of this wolfs life together
AussieAngels55
#80312

Posted 2023-01-26 21:04:28
I like how the backstory goes out of Wolvden logic, 7/10
Aglophobia (NC)
#54084

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