LF - Some People To Check Over My Lore

Not Too Long Ago I Just Finished Writing The Main Parts Of My Lore. While I Think It's Good, I Am Not That Great Of A Writer. And Many Monkey Brains Is Better Than One Monkey Brain. So I Am Looking For, Ideally, Several People To Just Look Over The Beginning Parts Of My Lore. I Want It To Be The Best It Can Be.

I Am Looking For Several Things:

- Editing (Grammar Mistakes And Ways My Writing Can Flow Better)

- Ideas (That Can Improve The Story)

- Criticisms

Thank You For Reading! Here Is The Lore: The Robotic Eye Pack Lore

(Only Read 'The Beginning' and 'The Founders' As Those Are The Only Ones That Are Completed Right Now.)